Clubs, sex parties and seeking partners
Page last reviewed 30.8.2024
Seeking sexual partners when travelling
If you wish to seek out sexual partners when travelling, it is best to look up information about the travel destination’s dating and hookup culture before the trip. What methods for seeking out sexual partners are available in the country?
When you open a dating app in a new country, it often draws a lot of attention from locals. This may result in a lot more contacts than normal.
Unfortunately, stigma and discrimination are still realities for sexual and gender minorities in many countries. Homosexuality is even criminalised and forbidden by law in some countries. For these reasons, it is good to think about disabling the use of location data for the dating apps. This makes it so that the application does not display accurate distances. When travelling to countries where homosexuality is criminalised, it is best to take other precautions related to safety as well, not just when seeking sexual partners.
When seeking for hookups, it’s good to consider where you want to meet up.
It is best to consider in advance where you want to meet and whether you want to invite a stranger directly to your hotel room. A good alternative is to first meet in a public location.
If you are travelling with friends or partners, but are not seeking out sexual partners together, you can improve your safety by telling your friends/partners where you are going and sharing your location. You can also improve your safety by agreeing on other practices, such as promising to contact your friends after arriving at the agreed location, or sending a message after a certain amount of time.
When travelling alone, it’s a good idea to tell someone, such as a close friend or family member in your country of origin, where you are and where you intend to go.
Clubs and sex parties
Popular gay tourism destinations have significantly more places for hooking up than in Finland. In many places, seeking out sex may be a more open process, and the clubbing culture can be different, too. In many countries, there are plenty of men only bars, which are intended only for gay men. Some clubs may only allow men to enter.
Clubs can choose their customers even based on arbitrary criteria, which we are not used to in Finland. Properties such as age, gender, style and general appearance may affect whether a bouncer will allow a person into a club.
People often go clubbing significantly later than in Finland, and the parties continue until the morning. In other words, there is never a last call. Clubs may also involve relatively low amounts of alcohol consumption – but also charge significant amounts of money for water. Please note that tap water is not suitable for drinking in many countries.
Cruising means seeking out casual, one-time and often anonymous sexual encounters in specific places. Such places could include certain beaches, parks, public bathrooms, gay saunas and highway rest stops.
Cruising bars are intended for having drinks and sex. When travelling, it is best to know ahead of time what type of establishment you are going to. In clubs, you may also encounter transactional sex, meaning someone offering sex in exchange for payment. In unclear situations, it is best to communicate openly before the sexual encounter and ask whether the other person expects something in exchange for the sex.
What is your safe sex strategy?
Before travel, it is a good idea to think about your own boundaries and your safe sex strategy. What does safe sex mean to you? What are you willing to do and with whom?
You can protect yourself from HIV and other sexually transmitted infections by wearing a condom and/or dental dam during oral sex, or a condom and lubricant during intercourse. HIV infections can also be prevented through PrEP medication and getting regularly tested for STIs.
It is a good idea to also think about your use of intoxicants during travel. Intoxicants can loosen inhibitions, but they can also impair your judgment. For this reason, consent becomes a particularly important issue when a person is intoxicated.
Everyone has the right to determine their limits at any time, also during sex. People’s autonomy and limits must be respected also when actively seeking sexual partners, going to sex parties and having sex while intoxicated.
Many events and places follow the safer space principles and have designated harassment contact persons. You can contact them if you experience any harassment or inappropriate behaviour.